Turn of the Screw/Script

Written by Anthony J Fuchs

1 - INT - THREE MOONS CAFÉ
A bell rings as a door open, and THE DOCTOR inhales deeply.

DOCTOR Ah! There it is; the most delightful fragrance in the whole of the Dachtyl Supercluster. Well worth a 400 mega- parsec trip across the Aldering Void.

Footsteps as the Doctor heads toward the counter.

SOO-ZINN Welcome to the Three Moons Café.

DOCTOR Thank you kindly, dear. It has been ages since I’ve been `round this way. Tell me: would Ahna-Lee happen to be working in the kitchens this morning?

SOO-ZINN I’m afraid not. Gran retired some years ago. Moved out to the suburbs. Said she’d had her fill of adventure.

DOCTOR “Gran?” My: it HAS been a long time. And to think she went and grew up and had herself a proper family after all.

SOO-ZINN You knew Gran?

DOCTOR Oh, yes. But that was in another life. Once upon a time, you might say. Today I am interested in only one thing.

SOO-ZINN And what might that be?

DOCTOR The cosmically-famous philoberry scones of the Three Moons Café.

SOO-ZINN Gran’s specialty.

DOCTOR Quite so.

SOO-ZINN We’ve got just a few left from this morning’s batch. Yes: here they are.

DOCTOR Excellent. And how do I pay?

SOO-ZINN Just scan your finchip across the display there.

DOCTOR Yes. My finchip. Let me see here...

The Doctor retrieves his SONIC SCREWDRIVER from a pocket and adjusts it, points it at the display, which promptly beeps.

SOO-ZINN There you have it. Enjoy.

DOCTOR Thank you again. What didn’t you say your name was, dear?

SOO-ZINN Soo-Zinn.

DOCTOR (pause) A lovely name. Positively lovely.

Footsteps as the Doctor crosses to a counter near the window. He sits, setting his plate down on the counter, and takes a bite.

DOCTOR I daresay there is no finer view in all of Summer City. The midday moons of Cendrillon are quite a sight.

DAHR-VAL Too right, mate. Too right.

DOCTOR Ah, my apologies. I didn’t mean to interrupt your reading.

DAHR-VAL Not at all. Not at all. Nothing but the morning news, and it’s nothing worth reading anyway. I must admit, though: I’ve never seen a finchip quite like the one you just used.

DOCTOR This old thing? An obsolete relic of a forgotten age. Hardly worth the energy required to keep it charged.

The Doctor tucks the sonic screwdriver away.

DAHR-VAL Old habits, eh? Well, I’ll tell you this much: you picked the right day to come out for scones and the right place to get them, that’s for sure.

DOCTOR Did I?

DAHR-VAL From these windows here, you get to witness the transit of the moons. All three of them crossing paths in broad daylight. It happens every couple of decades, and lasts about ten seconds.

DOCTOR (takes a bite) I see. And that’s today, is it?

DAHR-VAL Yes, sir, it is. You can already see the Twins up above the peak of Krylon Tower and to the left a bit. That’s Manon there to the front, and Sapho half tucked away behind it. They’re called the Twins because they look almost exactly the same size, even though Sapho is actually twice as large, but also twice as far away.

DOCTOR All just a matter of perspective.

DAHR-VAL Exactly. And if we wait for just a moment... (pause) Yes: there it is, right on schedule. Amadis coming up over the horizon there to the east, above the Auburn Desert.

DOCTOR Ah, yes: I see it there. Quite a bit smaller, and moving rather rapidly.

DAHR-VAL That’s the one. There’s some academic debate as to whether or not it should considered a moon, strictly speaking, but that’s neither here nor there.

DOCTOR It doesn’t orbit the planet, does it? It also revolves around the star in a co-orbital configuration.

DAHR-VAL Quite right. But then, every couple of decades, right in the middle of the day, it slips between Cendrillon and the Twins and passes across them both...just...like...that...

Silence for several seconds as the Doctor and Dahr-Val watch.

DOCTOR Marvelous. Simply marvelous. All utterly meaningless, of course, and yet, somehow...heartsbreaking to see.

DAHR-VAL They say it’s good luck to witness the transit of the midday moons.

DOCTOR Do they?

DAHR-VAL They say an awful lot of things. But believe I’ll be off, now. Got what I came for, and a little bit more.

DOCTOR Yes, of course. Have a wonderful day.

DAHR-VAL I’m sure I will.

Footsteps as Dahr-Val exits through the rear of the building.

DOCTOR What an unexpected delight. And I suppose I could use a bit of luck, after my most recent misadventures. (takes a bite) Perhaps I’ll take a holiday. Spend a few decades at the resorts of Zanthus IV. Catch up on some light reading. Ah, well: I suppose I’ll be on my way as well. Time waits for no lord. (calls out) Good afternoon, Miss.

SOO-ZINN Thank you. Have a fantastic day.

Footsteps as the Doctor heads for the front door; a bell rings as the door opens and the Doctor steps out onto the sidewalk.

2 – EXT – SIDEWALK
Traffic fades in as the Doctor hikes down the sidewalk.

DOCTOR It’s too easy to forget the simple pleasure of walking from one place to another when one regularly traverses the breadth of universes in seconds. Sometimes it’s refreshing to stretch one’s legs and smell the hyacinths. Here we are: the Summer City Museum of the Arts. No better place in the world to hide a TARDIS, especially when it’s closed for renovations. Let’s just get this door unlocked...

The Doctor searches his pockets for the sonic screwdriver.

DOCTOR Where’s that sonic gotten away to... (pause) I know I’ve got it here somewhere... (pause) Oh, come on, now; I distinctly recall tucking it away in this pocket right here. It couldn’t possibly have gone ...missing... (pause) Oh, dear.

Running footsteps as the Doctor rushes back to the Café.

3 – INT – THREE MOONS CAFÉ
The bell rings, and the Doctor hurries in.

SOO-ZINN Ah: welcome back. (pause) Is everything alright?

DOCTOR As a matter of fact: no. I seem to have misplaced a particularly sensitive instrument. My, um...what did you call it? Oh: my finchip. Did I happen to leave it behind?

SOO-ZINN No, sir; in fact, I’m sure I saw you put it in your pocket over there at the counter by the window.

DOCTOR Yes, I thought so. Which brings me, then, to the man I was speaking with. Did you see where he got away to?

SOO-ZINN The chap who came in just before you, in the beige coat?

DOCTOR And the spectacles, yes.

SOO-ZINN He left by the back exit.

DOCTOR Then I ought to pursue him.

SOO-ZINN Why?

DOCTOR Because I fear that he has relieved me of my property, which contains information that could alter history were it to fall into the wrong hands.

SOO-ZINN How well do you know the city?

DOCTOR Well enough, I suppose.

SOO-ZINN Not very well at all, then?

DOCTOR No. No, not really.

SOO-ZINN I’ll come with you. (calls out) Nay-Deen! I’m taking a quick break!

DOCTOR Lead the way.

Hurried footsteps as the Doctor follows Soo-Zinn.

SOO-ZINN The back door empties into the alley behind the building. We leave it open during business hours because we get foot-traffic from the subway station.

4 – EXT – ALLEY
Distant traffic as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn exit the Café.

DOCTOR Which way to the subway station?

SOO-ZINN To the left and around the corner. But if he made it to the tube, you’ll never find him. He could be anywhere.

Footsteps as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn reach the street at the end of the alley and the sound of traffic becomes louder.

DOCTOR Then we need a better way to follow.

SOO-ZINN You’ve got something in mind?

DOCTOR Oh: I’ve got many things in mind.

Footsteps as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn hurry along the sidewalk.

5 – EXT – SIDEWALK
Traffic fades in as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn reach the Museum.

SOO-ZINN The Art Museum?

DOCTOR Quite so.

SOO-ZINN But: it’s closed. For renovations.

DOCTOR It is, isn’t it?

SOO-ZINN And you think that man came here?

DOCTOR Oh, dear me, no. That would be a coincidence beyond imagining. No: I parked my means of transportation inside the building. Near the Quark Exhibition, if I recall correctly.

SOO-ZINN You parked a vehicle...in a museum?

DOCTOR Only temporarily. Assuming, that is, that we can unlock this door here.

SOO-ZINN So: you want to break into the Art Museum, where you somehow parked a vessel of some kind, in order to find the man who stole your finchip?

DOCTOR Not to put too fine a point on it, but: yes.

SOO-ZINN (pause) Okay. Leave it to me. (pause) And stand behind me, if you don’t mind. Give me some decent cover.

DOCTOR What are you going to...is that a hairpin you’re using?

SOO-ZINN (pause) I didn’t always work at the Café.

Clicking as Soo-Zinn picks the lock, then opens the door.

6 – INT – SUMMER CITY MUSEUM OF THE ARTS
Footsteps as Soo-Zinn follows the Doctor into the building and the sound of traffic fades outside.

SOO-ZINN How did you manage to land a vehicle in here without destroying the place?

DOCTOR You ask an awful lot of questions.

SOO-ZINN Yes: I do.

DOCTOR Good.

SOO-ZINN You don’t answer very many of them.

DOCTOR No: I don’t.

SOO-ZINN Do people find that maddening?

DOCTOR I’m sure they must. Here we are.

SOO-ZINN What?

DOCTOR My ship.

SOO-ZINN This? It’s nothing but a... (realizing) ...big...blue...box...

DOCTOR It certainly is. Come. Take a look.

The Doctor unlocks the TARDIS and opens the door.

7 – INT – TARDIS
The ship hums softly as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn enter.

SOO-ZINN (slowly; astonished) By all the stars...it’s true...

DOCTOR What’s true?

SOO-ZINN All the stories. Gran’s stories. The tales she used to tell us...about a man from another world...a man out- side of time...who took her on grand adventures in a blue box...that was bigger on the inside... (pause) You’re him. You’re...the Doctor.

DOCTOR Doctor who?

SOO-ZINN We thought she made you up.

DOCTOR What makes you think she didn’t?

Footsteps as the Doctor approaches the TARDIS console and begins flipping switches, adjusting dials and prepping for takeoff.

SOO-ZINN This is how it starts, isn’t it?

DOCTOR How what starts?

SOO-ZINN The adventures.

DOCTOR (pause) I suppose it is.

The Doctor flips one final switch and the TARDIS dematerializes with a GROANING, WHEEZING SOUND; a moment later, the ship lands.

SOO-ZINN (hushed) Where are we? WHEN are we?

DOCTOR Let’s take a look, shall we?

Footsteps as the Doctor crosses the TARDIS and opens the door.

8 – EXT – STREET
The door opens, and the sound of traffic can be heard.

SOO-ZINN But...this is Summer City.

DOCTOR Just around the corner from the Café, to be precise, just a few minutes after I arrived this afternoon.

SOO-ZINN Right around the time...that man nicked your finchip...

DOCTOR Exactly.

SOO-ZINN It’s not a finchip, is it?

DOCTOR Not remotely. Though I was delighted to discover that it functioned as one. And if you look up above the peak of Krylon Tower and to the left a bit, you’ll see Amadis just about to complete the transit of the moons.

SOO-ZINN It only happens about once every couple of decades.

DOCTOR I’ve witnessed it twice in the last ten minutes. Let’s take a peek around this corner up here, shall we?

Footsteps as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn head to the corner.

SOO-ZINN But that’s...that’s the back exit to the Café. You mean to intercept that man when he comes out into the alley.

DOCTOR Precisely. Should be just a moment. (pause) He left shortly after the completion of the transit. He should be stepping through that door any second now. (pause) When he does, we will shadow him to determine if he has any associates, or if he is working alone.

SOO-ZINN (after a pause; quietly) I don’t see anyone.

DOCTOR Nor do I. Now that is curious. (to himself) We couldn’t have altered the time- line, could we? Surely not by simply observing it from a different angle.

SOO-ZINN Surely you’ve heard of the Flitterbug Effect. A flitterbug flaps its wings on the other side of Cendrillon, and Summer City is struck by a sandstorm.

DOCTOR Yes, of course, but the rules of space do not apply so neatly to time, because time is stubborn, my dear. Once set, it most fiercely resists change. No: the timestream would not become altered unless we actively and consciously sought to alter it by–

SOO-ZINN (whispering) Look! That’s...that’s US.

DOCTOR (quietly) It certainly is.

SOO-ZINN How can that...be us...if WE’RE us?

DOCTOR Because it was us. You and I, from ten minutes ago. Which is, of course, right now. When we...yes, there we go...headed off toward the Museum.

SOO-ZINN But...if we were inside the Café AND out here the whole time...where could the man in the beige coat have gone?

DOCTOR Ah: now that’s the really interesting question, isn’t it? Let’s have a look.

Footsteps as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn head for the back exit.

SOO-ZINN Back inside? Can we do that?

DOCTOR Of course. You and I – the other you and I – are halfway to the Museum by now, on their way to the past, where they will become...you and I. Again.

SOO-ZINN Do this sort of thing a lot, do you?

DOCTOR From time to time.

SOO-ZINN Oh, that’s very funny.

9 – INT – THREE MOONS CAFÉ
Traffic fades as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn enter the Café again.

DOCTOR Alright: we’re in the back hallway. So where might a man of questionable ethics have hidden himself back here?

SOO-ZINN They wouldn’t have let him into the kitchens...but there’s a bathroom just up here on the left.

DOCTOR This door here? (jiggles doorknob) With the locked handle?

SOO-ZINN That’s the one.

The Doctor bangs on the bathroom door.

DOCTOR Is someone inside there? (pause) If you are, kindly announce yourself before I barge in on you awkwardly in the middle of your private business. (pause) Very well. You’ve been warned.

The Doctor bangs into the door once, then a second time before it pops open with a crack.

SOO-ZINN It’s empty.

DOCTOR And yet locked from the inside. Tell me: do you smell something?

SOO-ZINN Oi: I’ll have you know that we clean this bathroom at least twice a day.

DOCTOR No, no: not that. Something else. It almost smells like...spent gunpowder.

SOO-ZINN But with a hint of...peppermint?

DOCTOR Interspatial displacement residue.

SOO-ZINN Like...from a transmat?

DOCTOR Yes: quite so. And judging from that smell, not a very sophisticated one.

SOO-ZINN Even with a limited range, he could still be almost anywhere in the City. We still have no way to track him.

DOCTOR Then we must create for ourselves a way to track him.

SOO-ZINN But he’s already gone.

DOCTOR That is both true, and not true.

SOO-ZINN Thanks for clearing that up.

DOCTOR Do you happen to have a portable communications device handy?

SOO-ZINN Yeah: of course. Let me go grab it.

Footsteps as Soo-Zinn exits the bathroom before returning.

SOO-ZINN Here it is.

DOCTOR Excellent. Quite small and incredibly light. It should suit our purposes quite well. Let’s see if we can’t use it to get a fix on our mystery chap.

Footsteps as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn exit the bathroom and head down the hall back out into the alley.

10 – EXT – ALLEY

Footsteps continue, and traffic becomes louder as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn head back toward the street.

SOO-ZINN How is my phone supposed to help us?

DOCTOR Oh: you’ll see. I think you’re really going to like this bit.

They reach the TARDIS, and the Doctor opens the door.

11 – INT – TARDIS

The ship hums softly as the Doctor approaches the console.

DOCTOR Now let me see here. This shouldn’t be too much trouble to modify... (pause) Ah: there we go. Better than new. I’ve just upgraded your device to universal roaming and synced it with the TARDIS communications system.

SOO-ZINN Sounds fantastic. Is that fantastic?

DOCTOR Oh, yes. (flips switches) You’ll need a disguise. Nothing extravagant, but something to hide your face. It’s far too pretty.

SOO-ZINN Well...thank you...I think...

The Doctor rummages below the console, then finds what he wants.

DOCTOR Here you go: put these on.

SOO-ZINN (pause) Why do you have ladies’ sunglasses and a tattered old hat lying about?

DOCTOR Have I mentioned that you ask an awful lot of questions?

Before she can answer, the Doctor flips one final switch and the TARDIS dematerializes; a moment later, the ship lands again.

DOCTOR Well? Put them on, put them.

SOO-ZINN Okay. How do I look?

DOCTOR Like a woman wearing a disguise. Well played. You said that the chap in the beige coat came in just before me?

SOO-ZINN By a few minutes, yes.

DOCTOR Excellent. We’ve landed a few minutes before that.

Footsteps as the Doctor crosses the TARDIS and opens the door.

12 – EXT – STREET

The door opens, and the sound of traffic can be heard.

SOO-ZINN We’re across the street from the Café?

DOCTOR Indeed we are. Now: what I would like you to do is to take your phone, and go and wait at that table next to the front doors. When you see the chap in the beige coat approaching, drop your phone in his pocket. Then hurry back.

SOO-ZINN Easy peasy summer breezy.

Footsteps as Soo-Zinn crosses the street to the Café.

SOO-ZINN (to herself) Here I go, then: off to plant my phone in the pocket of a strange man because another strange man asked me to. What a bizarre day it’s turning into, and it’s only just past lunch. (pause) I definitely must have a chat with Gran when all this is said and done. (pause) Oh, look: there I am again, working behind the counter, looking for all the world as if there wasn’t another copy of me standing outside wearing sunglasses and a tattered old hat, watching myself through the window. (pause) I suppose it wouldn’t do to stare. I might draw attention to myselves, and who knows how that might damage the temporal tapestry of the universe. (pause) Ah, well: no time to ponder paradoxes just now. Far more pressing matters to consider: like the chap in the beige coat and the spectacles who happens to be heading this direction and giving me a peculiar look. (to Dhar-Val) Can I help you?

DHAR-VAL Miss? Is everything alright?

SOO-ZINN As a matter of fact: no. I seem to have misplaced my husband, and he has my phone so I can’t even call him.

DHAR-VAL Is there anything I can do to help?

SOO-ZINN Perhaps there is. Could I borrow your phone for just a moment?

DHAR-VAL Sure. Of course.

Dhar-Val digs out his phone and hands it to Soo-Zinn; she dials.

SOO-ZINN Thank you for this, sincerely. (phone rings) I probably left the infernal thing on silent. He probably doesn’t even know he has it in his pocket right now. (pause) Yes: it’s going to voicemail. (into phone, fake anger) It’s Ahna-Lee! I’m going back to the subway station! Meet me there!

Soo-Zinn hangs up and hands the phone back to Dhar-Val.

SOO-ZINN (sighs) Now I just have to hope for the best. Thank you so much again for -- oh!

Sound of stumbling as Soo-Zinn “trips” while walking away.

DHAR-VAL Whoa; hey; I got you.

SOO-ZINN For pity’s sake, I am so clumsy.

DHAR-VAL You’re okay. You got your bearings?

SOO-ZINN I am terribly sorry. I’m so out of sorts today. Thank you for your help.

DHAR-VAL Of course. You just be careful, okay?

SOO-ZINN I certainly will. A bell rings as Dhar-Val opens the door to the Café. Footsteps as Soo-Zinn heads away, crossing the street back to the TARDIS. A few moments later, the TARDIS door opens as she approaches.

DOCTOR How did it go?

SOO-ZINN One of my finest performances, if I do say so myself, and I do. Men, it seems, simply cannot resist a helpless woman falling into their arms.

DOCTOR No, I should think not. Come on then, no use loitering about out here.

13 – INT – TARDIS

The ship hums softly as the Doctor and Soo-Zinn enter.

SOO-ZINN Okay, then: if I’ve got this right, then when the chap in the beige coat transmatted from the Café’s bathroom, he had my phone, synced up to your TARDIS computer, in his coat pocket.

DOCTOR (flips switch) Quite so.

SOO-ZINN Nice trick.

DOCTOR Yes: I thought you’d appreciate it. So now all we have to do is lock onto the signal of your newly-upgraded phone, and the navigational matrix should set us down within arm’s reach of our mystery chap.

SOO-ZINN “Should”?

DOCTOR Well: the Old Girl can be a touch capricious at times. Mind of her own and all that. Care to dial in your number on that keypad there?

SOO-ZINN Sure.

Nine keystrokes on an old-fashioned computer keypad; the TARDIS responds, dematerializing and traveling with a rushing roar.

DOCTOR Oh: here we go! She’s got him now!

SOO-ZINN She doesn’t seem pleased about it!

DOCTOR No, I should think she wouldn’t be! The sonic is as much hers as mine! I designed it, but she put it together!

A moment later, the ship lands with a thundering thump.

SOO-ZINN Then let’s go get it back.

Footsteps as Soo-Zinn crosses the TARDIS and opens the door.

14 - INT – STAIRWELL

Soo-Zinn and the Doctor’s voices echo inside the stairwell.

DOCTOR We appear to have materialized inside a stairwell. Bit of a tight fit, too.

SOO-ZINN This is Krylon Tower. That’s their logo there on the door. We’re in the parking garage. See? Level 2G.

DOCTOR It seems we are.

SOO-ZINN Then where is --

Footsteps interrupt her before Dhar-Val rounds the corner.

DHAR-VAL Wha...what in the blue blazes...

DOCTOR Well? Invite our guest in, dear. We mustn’t forget our manners.

Hurried footsteps as Soo-Zinn rushes out to grab Dhar-Val.

DHAR-VAL Hey! What are you -- wait: you?

SOO-ZINN Yeah: me.

DHAR-VAL And you?

DOCTOR Oh, yes.

DHAR-VAL You’re both supposed to be at the Café still. Who are you people?

Hurried footsteps as Soo-Zinn pulls Dhar-Val into the TARDIS.

15 – INT – TARDIS

Soo-Zinn slams the door.

DHAR-VAL (stunned) And what...is this...place?

DOCTOR This is a transtemporal ship from the forgotten past of a lost planet.

DHAR-VAL But it...it’s...

DOCTOR Yes?

DHAR-VAL It’s...impossible...

DOCTOR Oh: pish-posh. My people harnessed impossibility as an energy source long before the star this planet orbits around was even born.

DHAR-VAL You can’t keep me here. You can’t --

A click as Dhar-Val tries to activate his transmat and fails.

DHAR-VAL What -- why didn’t it --

Several more clicks as Dhar-Val attempts to transmat out.

DOCTOR Transmat not working? No, I shouldn’t think so. My ship is emitting a low frequency dampening field, you see.

DHAR-VAL What do you want with me?

DOCTOR Only what is already ours.

Scuffling as Soo-Zinn digs through Dhar-Val’s pockets.

SOO-ZINN Like my phone.

More scuffling as the Doctor digs into Dhar-Val’s pocket.

DOCTOR And my sonic screwdriver.

DHAR-VAL I knew that was no ordinary finchip. I just wanted to know how it worked. I swear. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s absolutely fascinating.

DOCTOR It is, isn’t it? One of a kind, I assure you. Nothing else quite like it in all of time and space. (pause) And then there’s this, I think.

More scuffling as the Doctor takes Dhar-Val’s transmat.

DHAR-VAL Hey, now: that’s mine!

DOCTOR Who did you pilfer this from?

DHAR-VAL I built it myself!

DOCTOR I don’t doubt it. The craftsmanship leaves much to be desired.

DHAR-VAL It does the job.

DOCTOR So does this.

Just then, the Doctor throws a switch; the TARDIS dematerializes abruptly, traveling with a rushing roar before landing again.

DHAR-VAL What in the name of Amadis was that!?

DOCTOR Just a demonstration. A lesson, really.

DHAR-VAL What are you talking about???

DOCTOR You took something that belongs to me, and I take that very personally. I am extremely protective over the things I choose to keep with me. I don’t share, and I don’t play well with others, so on the rare occasion that I do find myself robbed of my belongings, I go out of my way to make a lasting impression on the thief. Something he won’t forget.

DHAR-VAL What...what are you doing to do?

DOCTOR I’m going to let you go, of course.

DHAR-VAL You are?

DOCTOR Certainly. I have no use for you. (to Soo-Zinn) Dear: would you please see our guest out. He has overstayed his welcome.

SOO-ZINN My pleasure.

Scuffling as Soo-Zinn shoves Dhar-Val across the console room; she opens the door, letting in the sound of a sandstorm.

DHAR-VAL Hey! Where...where are we?

SOO-ZINN Looks an awful lot like the middle of the Auburn Desert to me! Best of luck!

Soo-Zinn shoves Dhar-Val out the door.

DHAR-VAL Wait! You can’t just leave me here!

DOCTOR I think you’ll find that I can, and more importantly: that I will.

DHAR-VAL But I could die out here!

DOCTOR Only if you’re incredibly stupid. You’re about ten leagues from Summer City. Walk with the moons at your back, and you might make it home by as early as tomorrow afternoon.

SOO-ZINN Step lively.

Soo-Zinn slams the door shut; Dhar-Val bangs on the door.

DHAR-VAL Hey! HEY! Don’t leave me here! I’ll do anything you want! Please don’t --

But the Doctor throws a switch, and the TARDIS dematerializes, drowning out Dhar-Val’s screaming. Moments later, it lands. The Doctor is silent for a few moments while the TARDIS hums softly.

SOO-ZINN There’s sand all over the gangway.

DOCTOR That’s quite alright. I’m sure I’ve got a dustpan and broom in a supply closet around here somewhere.

SOO-ZINN Is he really going to die out there?

DOCTOR Well: that depends entirely on him. If he’s not terribly resourceful, then it’s possible that the Desert might actually kill him. On the other hand, you would be surprised to discover how resourceful people can be when their lives depend on it.

SOO-ZINN Not much surprises me anymore.

DOCTOR Oh, you are so like your Gran.

SOO-ZINN She says the same herself.

DOCTOR I imagine she does. Incredibly perceptive, your Gran, and quite capable when push came to shove. (pause) It almost makes me wonder...

SOO-ZINN It really was true, wasn’t it? Everything she told us about you.

DOCTOR Oh, I doubt very much that she told you the truth about her adventures. More likely she told you fantastical tales of alien worlds and the future and the past and strange creatures. But the truth? Oh, no: I suspect that would have given you nightmares.

SOO-ZINN Have I mentioned that you don’t answer very many questions?

DOCTOR I’m sure you must have. You’ve known me for almost half-an-hour already. (pause) So: I’ve brought you back to the Café at the end of your break. It looks as though I’ve landed you a couple of minutes late, but I’m sure Nay-Deen will understand.

SOO-ZINN So, what: you come here and show off your fancy transtemporal ship from the forgotten past of a lost planet, and then you just drop me back off in my boring world to do my boring job for the rest of my boring life?

DOCTOR Oh, hey, now: you got five trips for the price of one, you know. That’s five more trips than almost every other citizen of your star system. And I can promise you this: there is nothing wrong with a boring life.

SOO-ZINN Says the man wandering around all of time and space in a blue box that’s bigger on the inside.

DOCTOR Sounds like quite the madman, eh? No one you’d want to spend any length of time with, certainly. Who knows what trouble would follow such a man.

SOO-ZINN Who knows, indeed.

DOCTOR I’ll just see you out, then. It has been truly lovely to meet you, dear. Please: give my regards to your Gran.

Footsteps as Soo-Zinn and the Doctor cross the TARDIS and the door opens, letting in the sounds of traffic.

16 – EXT – STREET

Footsteps as Soo-Zinn and the Doctor step out of the TARDIS.

DOCTOR Here we are. Just across the street.

SOO-ZINN But...Doctor? Look through the window into the Café. Do you see who that is working behind the counter right now?

DOCTOR What? No: who is it?

SOO-ZINN It’s...me. Another me.

DOCTOR Oh, honestly, dear; you must be... (pause) ...oh. Well. That complicates things.

SOO-ZINN But...how is that possible? This is later, right? The future; my future. So if that’s not my past-self...who is it? How can I be there, and here?

DOCTOR I should think that’s obvious. I must have already taken you back, sometime in the future.

SOO-ZINN This IS the future.

DOCTOR There are many futures, dear. That you over there is from one of them.

SOO-ZINN But: how?

DOCTOR Apparently, you don’t go back to your boring world to do your boring job for the rest of your boring life yet.

SOO-ZINN No: I guess I can’t. My future-self has already taken my place. Which means: I’ve got nowhere to go.

DOCTOR On the contrary. It means that you’ve got everywhere to go. All of time; all of space. Anywhere and anywhen.

SOO-ZINN Are you...inviting me to travel?

DOCTOR Quite so.

SOO-ZINN Of course! Yes! Obviously!

DOCTOR Then let’s get off the street before you draw attention to yourselves.

Footsteps as Soo-Zinn and the Doctor hurry back into the TARDIS.

17 – INT – TARDIS

Soo-Zinn shuts the door, and the ship hums softly to itself.

SOO-ZINN So: now what? How does this work? Where do we go? When do we go?

DOCTOR How about somewhere peaceful to start out? Nice and easy does it.

SOO-ZINN Sounds like a plan to me.

Soo-Zinn laughs as the Doctor flips a switch and the TARDIS dematerializes with a GROANING, WHEEZING SOUND.

END CREDITS